Where Have All The Papers Gone

Lino is on the way back. I will tell you why in a moment.

But first newspapers - they are supposed to be on the way out.

People have been writing newspapers off since the arrival of the B&W television in 1956.

But as the growing number of regular readers to this column well know, this good old rag still arrives every morning to announce the news, forecast the future and fearlessly maintain our freedom of speech. Not to mention entertain us with an outstanding supply of advertisements that oil the wheels of commerce and the modern printing plant.

But now something else is happening.

The latest circulation figures show that the number of newspapers purchased is holding up despite the readers giving up the idea of purchasing of a new Lamborghini or a supersized duel pool holiday shack down the coast.

So it was a shock to the system when the latest Roy Morgan survey of readership arrived. This is the poll that tells advertisers how many readers each paper has and digs even deeper to show the marketing world what type of people the readers really are and what they buy. Inquisitive advertisers then know that they are getting real value from their ads.

The other way of course, is to put the ad in the paper and see if the cash register rings - a bit old fashioned but still a good idea.

However the latest readership figures, unlike the circulation figures, have dropped. Charlie, our seasoned researcher, thinks that’s because Morgan is asking different questions. Morgan used to combine readers of the paper with those who read it online. Apparently, not only are “oils ain’t oils” but “readers ain’t readers” either.

But newspapers are still in rude health - it’s only the figures that aren’t and they seem to show that some people are buying newspapers but not reading them.

Here’s where the lino comes in. As you know, Louise doesn’t like slang so I will call it linoleum so we all know what I mean.

The traditional use of newspapers, after you have read them from front to back, was to store them in the woodshed and then later put them under the brand new lino. (Why did you have to do that? Louise is still researching this - perhaps a reader knows why a newspaper underlay was a necessity.)

But when wall to wall carpet arrived in the 60’s and the polished board craze of the ‘70’s took over, up came the lino and suddenly the national archives had a competitor as perfectly kept newspapers from before the world war 1 started to turn up in pristine condition.

So lino must be making a coming back. How else can we explain this continuing use of newspapers if the official readership figures keep dropping but the same numbers of people keep buying them?

Unless of course the readership figures are a bit strange which is where I am currently leaning.

But it’s all good news any way you like to look at it.

The printing presses are still running, the researchers have plenty more work to do, the advertisers are getting ready for the spring sales and the readers are either admiring their new kitchen floor or opening fish and chip shops.

All good by me.